3 internal burns - drink acid? [14 Dec 2003|02:24pm] Moved to http://www.livejournal.com/~razorbladedoll Add me if you like. :)

5 internal burns - drink acid? [27 Nov 2003|08:58pm] [ mood | bored ] [ music | Hollow Man ] Edward Scissorhands is one of the greatest movies ever. However, it's still not even close to being a good substitute for talking to Luke..not that anything is. ;) I should be working on my site, but I feel lazy today.. Sooo..back to Hollow Man.. Hope everyone had a happy Thanksgiving.

4 internal burns - drink acid? [22 Nov 2003|06:44pm] [ mood | giddy ] [ music | Queer Eye for the Straight Guy ] Today is a magnificent day for two reasons: 1. It's Luke and I's 5 month anniversary! ^___^ 2. I got new boots! They're beautiful knee-high, lace up boots like my other ones, except with a higher heel. Pictures soon. ^__^

2 internal burns - drink acid? [15 Nov 2003|11:03pm] [ mood | anxious ] [ music | Atom and His Package - Atom and His Package ] Lookie, an update..;P Not much new has happened.. Laura F. is currently going to a school in Olgve(sp) but rumor is she hates it there and will be coming back, which is really great news! I didn't want her to move, but she insisted..I teased her about leaving because she caught sight of a cute boy, which was probably the case. Also, I'm deeply, passionately, and entirely in love with Luke, and hope he'll get back on AIM soon..;) And I am downright amazed at what I can destroy with just a hammer.

2 internal burns - drink acid? [08 Nov 2003|09:34pm] [ mood | optimistic ] [ music | Garbage feat. Eric Kupper - You Look So Fine ] Mmmm..the sweet taste of procrastination. To do list: *1. Elope with Luke. ;) 2. Acc. English project. 3. Science homework. 4. Drawing I project. 5. Website layout! 6. Clean my room again/Decorate my wall. Nobody mentioned there's a late fee on library books in this school.. ^_^* I'm not like all of the other girls, I won't take it like the other girls, I won't fake it like the other girls, That you used to know.

drink acid? [06 Nov 2003|07:35pm] Sure enough, someone placed a bid on the boots. :( But..happy news! My mom's letting me call Luke for an hour or so on our regular phone. Apparently we have good long distance rates, hehe. Oh, and Tim Robbins is officially my favorite actor.

4 internal burns - drink acid? [05 Nov 2003|09:38pm] [ mood | bouncy ] [ music | Kenna - Vexed and Glorious ] I was just hating ebay about a second ago because someone bought the boots that I wanted soooo badly(I already have a pair, but the zipper on one of them is broken), until I came across an even better and cheaper pair. Now, knowing my luck with ebay, someone will come along and steal those from me, too..but at least I'll have some kind of chance at bidding again if someone else bids..(the person that took the boots I wanted used Buy It Now and these new boots don't have that option.) Anyways! I went to the mall today with Bailey. It was great, just hanging around with Bailey for acouple hours as she shopped. I introduced her more thoroughly to a great store called Ragstock..I looked for fake eyelashes, but they sold out before Halloween. :( She didn't really like it, I think, but I'm sure if she looked hard enough she'd find quite a few items she'd enjoy wearing. I was feeling cute and random, so I talked a random young woman that came into the bathroom while I was doing my eye make-up. She was really friendly..I greeted her with, "Hello, fellow bathroom dweller," and she just jumped right into a conversation with Bailey and I. :) I was intimidated by Bailey's dad, because she said her parents hated Ashley because she talked too much during a car ride..and I probably didn't score points because of my attire. I was polite, as always, though..;) and I think he liked me because I liked some of the music he listened to on the oldies station. Also..I love Luke..:) I want you here, vexed and glorious as ever.

7 internal burns - drink acid? [01 Nov 2003|04:32pm] [ mood | moody ] [ music | Placebo - Peeping Tom ] I'm afraid I make a terrible host. I think Krystle was entertained for the most part, but there wasn't really much to say..much to do. I convinced my cousin to call us, and I let them talk.. I hear he 'mastered the grunt'. I also got to talk to Luke, which made me very happy.. he also rekindled an old addiction, only now it has more games and options..;) After we dropped her off at where she was staying, my mom and I stopped at a warehouse place..I got caution tape, hehe. I'm going to go relax for awhile..this weather is making me very tired and cranky. I swear, if one more person bursts into my room, Hell's fury will be unleashed from it's fiery pit of torment..meow. I'm weightless, I'm bare, I'm faithless, I'm scared.

2 internal burns - drink acid? [28 Oct 2003|07:30pm] [ mood | pleased ] [ music | Placebo - Spite and Malice ] New layout! I've been meaning to do it for like..ever, but I finally got it done tonight. This one features my amazingly, wonderfully perfect love of my life, Luke Dickinson. Isn't he gorgeous? ;) Hehe..anyhoo, no worries, Fanatic, I'll get yours done in no time..again, I'm sorry for the delay. Revolution: Dope, guns, fucking in the streets.

5 internal burns - drink acid? [22 Oct 2003|05:47pm] [ mood | sick ] [ music | Bush - Personal Holloway ] Somebody got me sick, and they'll pay. >) Oh yes, they will.. my nose is stuffy, my throat is sore, and I'm losing my voice..also, my tummy hurts, but that has nothing to do with my cold. But happy news: Luke might call tonight!

drink acid? [21 Oct 2003|08:04pm] [ mood | blah ] [ music | Garbage - As Heaven is Wide ] I'm sure it's no big surprise to you that your romance is The Princess Bride. A heartwarming tale of "Twue Wuve" that has giants, Spainards and swashbuckling. You really do think that love can overcome anything. You may be a touch naive but your heart is certainly in the right place. You've probably got one of those relationships where proper nouns have been replaced with "Snookums" and "Pookie Pie". Eww. Beware a cuteness overload. What Romance Movie Best Represents Your Love Life? brought to you by Quizilla Quiz thingie without the picture..left it out, 'cause it's too big. I thought the results were kinda ironic, since I love that movie, and it pretty much hit the bulls-eye..;) If flesh could crawl, my skin would fall from off my bones and run away from here.

2 internal burns - drink acid? [20 Oct 2003|04:39pm] [ mood | content ] Today didn't start as a good day. I drank tea this morning, which left my stomach feeling violated and my mouth feeling gross, even more so when I brushed my teeth..I got on the bus, had to sit on the outside of the seat with two people..then, I moved when a seat opened. (Middle schoolers are taking up the seats again..:/) Apparently I sat in gum or something, so I got gum all over my skirt and also, mysteriously, on my boot. What's more is, I hadn't known that the gum was on my skirt, only on my boot(because no one bothered to tap me on the shoulder and say, "Hey, you have gum on your skirt..")..I found out in Geometry..Sooo..I went down to the nurse's office to see if she had anything to help, and I tried to scrape it off with scissors and this wooden thing after I iced it..helped a little..but I needed to get back to class, so I asked for a patch of material and some safety pins. Pinned it on there, wrote Placebo diagonally on it, and that was that. It's really disgusting when people think they can put their gum any old place they want to. It's rude, inconsiderate, and worthy of a kick in the ass. The rest of the day went good..Probably going to do bad on my Geometry test because I was in the nurse's office most of the hour..Had a literary terms test in Acc. English, got an A.. Did this review thing in Social and "battled it out" with Iffy again. Last time I had my spikes on..hehe..(You have to grab a marker[or ruler this time] to answer the question..we kept grabbing it at the same time, so we had to fight it out of eachother's hands..almost knocked the teacher over.) Got the highest score on the Science test..105%..woo? :) Um..French..was..french. Basically worked on an assignment that I finished last night. Drawing was fun as always, but Ashley, Susan, and I really have to finish our project. Pottery was messy and just blah. Also..something possessed Bailey to make patches like my Placebo one and put'm on her skirt and jacket thing. She made one with Dark Funeral and another with Zeromancer. o_O Going to see Scary Movie 3 with Ashley, and possibly Bailey, this Saturday..we were supposed to go last weekend but Ashley hadn't realized the movie wasn't actually in theatres yet. It's weird..I would've been embarrassed about it(the gum), but it didn't get me in a bad mood at all..actually, somehow, it made me happier in some bizarre way. I feel like nothing can make me unhappy, because of how things are going, and because of a special someone with the initials L.D.D..:) But..right now, I'm home alone, and sitting in silence, soo.. must make noise..!

drink acid? [17 Oct 2003|11:49pm] [ mood | happy ] [ music | Pulp - Master of the Universe ] Things are so wonderful, I wonder what I did to deserve such a happiness. Maybe I donated abunch of organs in my sleep or something..anyway..tomorrow, I might go see a movie with Ashley. She hasn't called me yet, but I'm hoping she will. I've got to clean my room..mother says so. That'll probably take acouple hours..that I do have, just too lazy to use. I drew another picture of Luke tonight. I wish I could draw better..his features are so perfect, it's probably an insult that I even try to attempt to draw such a deity. But..maybe if I keep working at it, I'll get better. :) I had a wonderful day, hehe.. bed time. I am the master of this universe.

4 internal burns - drink acid? [14 Oct 2003|06:00pm] [ mood | amused ] [ music | Felicity ] Felicity: I wanted to talk to you about something. Noel(holding a computer): Is it that you don't like me? Or you like me too much and wouldn't want to ruin what we have with physical intimacy? Felicity: No. I've decided..that we should have sex. Noel drops the computer. Hehe..I found that amusing..I'm done with the Felicity quotes. ;) I was thinking earlier..wondering, what really makes me mature? Why do I consider myself mature? Anyway..just something I was pondering. I stole a question thing from Mckinlee, so here goes: current clothes// Blue plaid pants, Zeromancer shirt I made, neon green socks, and black armwarmers. current hair// Black with red spots..shoulder length..same as usual..blowdried and poofy. Thinking about a haircut.. current music// None..watching tv. current taste// My saliva. current smell// Raspberry perfume. current annoyance// Nothing, actually. current thing I ought to be doing// Working on my layout, working on Josh's layout, reading.. current desktop// Black. Current book// Interview With the Vampire by Anne Rice current cd in cd player// Placebo - Sleeping With Ghosts Current Worry// None. Current crush// Luke. ;) Last Person... You touched// Umm.. Lashawna? I tried to pull her hood over her head and pull on the strings, then tie them..she's beginning to catch on to it, though. >) You talked to// related to: Mom. Not related to: Deb..I think. Online: Luke, last night..haven't been on AIM yet today. you hugged// Lashawna..well, she tried to hug me, because she said something, jokingly, that I pretended hurt my feelings. I can't remember what it was, though. You instant messaged// Luke..probably? You yelled at// ..Hmmm..Sister, most likely. Who broke your heart// Favorite .. Person// Luke. :) Food// That's really hard..depends on my mood. I like..jello, italian ice, pickles..onion rings! Drink// Pepsi, I guess. Color// Black, red, blue, or violet. Shoes// Boots. Candy// Depends on my mood. Animal// Cat, crow, or eagle. TV Show// Felicity. Song// That's really difficult, as well.. Any Placebo one..Beth Orton - Paris Train. Vegetable// Corn..preferably on the cob. Fruit// Strawberries. Are you.. understanding// Extremely. open-minded// Very much so. arrogant// Not really... Insecure// Unfortunately. Interesting// I don't know..am I? ;) Hungry// Not really. Friendly// Yep. :) Smart// Maaaybe. Moody// ..Hum, sometimes. Childish// I guess. :) Independent// Depends on the situation..wait a second.. organized// ..HAHAHAHA! I mean..no. Shy// Annoyingly. Difficult// Depends on the situation. Attractive// Some people seem to think so..but I think they need glasses. :-p Bored easily// I usually find ways of entertaining myself. Messy// Definitely. Thirsty// Kinda. Responsible// When it comes to everything except doing the dishes. Obsessive// Hehe..noooo..? Angry// Once in a very rare while. Sad// Every now and then. Happy// Extremely! Trusting// Very. ill// Nope. Talkative// When around friends. Original// I like what I like? Different// So I'm told. :-p Unique// I guess. Ignored// Sometimes. Content// Very. A thinker// Sometimes I think too much. Sleepy// Not right now. Lonely// Sometimes. Who do you want to... kill// No one. Kiss// Luke..very much. Hug// Luke. Hook up with// Luke..I'm repetitive, aren't I? Shake// As in, shake some sense into? Stupid people. Be like// I want to be myself, really..no matter who that turns out to be..of course, I'll try to be the best person I can be, and I am trying.

drink acid? [13 Oct 2003|06:14pm] [In the dormitory. Noel is the advisor. Richard is one of his advisees.] Noel: What's that smell..? Advisee: Smell? Noel: Smells like..fourth of July.. Advisee: Oh, that's Richard. He's having a barbecue. Noel: ..Where? Advisee: In his room. (So Noel says he's going to report Richard for it to the student council. Later on..Felicity and Noel are making out in the library, and an RA(Resident Advisor) and an advisee relationship is forbidden. Richard sees them in the corner, and stares for acouple seconds until Noel notices. Then..) Richard: ..You're an RA. Noel: Yeah. Richard: YOU'RE AN RA! I'M REPORTING YOUR ASS! Hehehe.. I was boycotting Felicity because Noel cheated on his long-distance girlfriend and kissed Felicity in the dorm bathroom..but so..addicting..Anyhoo.. I love Luke..soooo much..God, I'm so crazy about him.. He's like my life source.. I'm seriously convinced that he's the one..I know that whenever someone says that, it jynxs the whole thing..but I want to spend the rest of my life with him.. and I mean this with my entire being. So..um..hehe..I miss him tons..and.. back to the tv.

10 internal burns - drink acid? [12 Oct 2003|10:44pm] I love Luke! ;)

2 internal burns - drink acid? [10 Oct 2003|09:50pm] [ mood | exhausted ] [ music | Kenna - Love Hate Sensation ] Soooo tired.. I don't want to get offline, though, because I know if I go to bed, tens minutes later Luke will end up showing up, and I'll have just missed him. So, I suppose I'll just relay today's happenings... ... ...Well, nothing really happened, besides the fact that I've come to the realization that I've only got a few close friends, and they're hardly what I'd call close.. My best and closest friend, of course, is Luke, and things are working out like a dream with him. The two people I rely most on at school are Bailey and Ashley..and though it's not on purpose, they have this tendency to just..walk away from me, without saying where they're going, or without telling me. They just walk away, and leave me wherever I am. I've decided, since it's happened enough to drive me up the wall, that I just won't try to follow anymore. It's unimportant, really..but it still bothers me.. I've also again noticed that I hardly ever regularly talk with someone on my AIM list besides Luke, which isn't a bad thing when he's on, but it's really lonely when he's not on. Whether I drifted from them or they drifted from me is irrevelant to the fact that it happened, and I think I should try to engage in more conversations from now on. Another thing that happened today..well, my sister was having trouble with Justin again. It seems like a very dramatic relationship..but anyway, I burned her a Kenna cd, because she's always dancing to "Free Time" and I thought it would cheer her up. So, I tried to figure out her cd player..it turns out it wouldn't play burned cds, so she told me to put it in her personal cd player. I did so, and it played while she straightened her bangs. She heard the beginning of a song she didn't know, but had the distinct style of Kenna, and asked who it was..I told her it was Kenna, and she asked me whether I had burned this for her. I told her yes, and she hugged me. That's the first time in about..well, forever, and I felt really good because she was really happy and enjoying the songs I put on the cd. :)(It was a complete mix of Kenna songs..only 10, though.) Hehe..anyways, I've been reading Interview With the Vampire because I remember starting it but never finishing. I've done that with tons of books, but I'm going to stick to this one, and make my way through the series. I've probably started about four Anne Rice vampire series books, all in random order. So..I love and miss Luke greatly.. hope he'll be on soon..:) Give me a ride on a Zephyr, and rocket away from here.

4 internal burns - drink acid? [08 Oct 2003|06:12pm] [ mood | creative ] [ music | Autumn - Red ] This is going to sound foolish, but: Felicity is REALLY annoying. Maybe I shouldn't take this so seriously, but this is really starting to get on my nerves. Noel + Felicity = Soulmates. It's a simple equation, and for these evil tv producers to jerk fans around by constantly bringing Ben into the picture is just insanely immoral. I think I should stop watching this show. But more importantly: I love Luke. :) My day went by really fast.. They have been since school started. Time always flies when your life is perfect, but when you're discontent, things go by so slowly. It's rather ironic.. I would've thought time would go by slowly when you're happy, so you may enjoy the moments more, but that's life. I don't mind..I savor every happy moment..especially the ones spent with my love. Anyhoo..Off I go to work on my skirt..I hope to wear it tomorrow.

6 internal burns - drink acid? [06 Oct 2003|06:44pm] [ mood | okay ] [ music | Interview With the Vampire ] ( If black and white were the only colors.. )

12 internal burns - drink acid? [05 Oct 2003|01:13pm] [ mood | disappointed ] [ music | Our Lady Peace - Potato Girl ] Well..Krystle just called. She's going to call back later, to figure out some Halloween plans. I have no idea what I'm doing this Halloween.. There's probably lots of parties in the making, so we all have to figure out who's going to throw one to make sure there isn't seven different parties with only two people attending. I assume my prince will be at some gathering, so I probably won't stay home. Anyway..I'm really unhappy with my appearance right now. I can look at myself and see so many flaws, and so little perfections.. Maybe the flaws aren't really there in someone else's eyes, but I really want to fix some of them..I think if I go on some kind of diet, like Atkins(No, not 5 vanity pounds.. about 20 or so..and I don't want to be too thin, either), I might feel better about myself. I should feel like the most gorgeous girl on earth because someone so perfect and incredible as Luke thinks I'm beautiful and loves me, but I just can't see many good things regarding my physical appearance. My confidence varies from day to day, but for the most part I'm discontent with myself. I don't only want to impress the love of my life, I want to impress myself. Why do I have to be so insecure? ;_; Imagination disappears and all the dreams you have, you save.

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